Game Night May 9th – Captured in the Fell Tower

Any chance a dungeon master has to strip his party of their belongings and throw them into a dank cell should not be overlooked. Being defeated in battle is a perfect opportunity for an otherwise slain group of characters to instead get a second chance. Since the campaign began with the characters playing zero level slave-captives to a band of orcs, it was only fitting that the kobolds should offer them up as a live meal to their beloved deity, god of storms. They awoke in cells with barred cell doors and barred windows looking out over the mountain valley five hundred feet below.

With them in an adjacent cell was a femal elf named Sheva, a monk who chose to be there, using the cell as a place to rest. Being a replacement for character for a slain rogue, Sheva began with her normal allotment of starting gear. Starting her at zero level was a possibility, but she appreciated having gear, since none of the rest of the party had anything left.

As the ranger sent his ferret familiar into the hallway, they noticed a large blue dragon slowly circling in the air towards them. They then noticed the blackened and damaged stones of the chamber, and the large size of the windows, and decided they needed to be on the other side of the door. They made it just before the dragon swooped close by the cells, checking for breakfast.

To the south they heard the sounds of kobolds, and saw a descending stair, which they remembered being marched or dragged up, along with their gear. It meant their gear was on this floor. They took the door across the hall after carefully listening and checking for traps, and found a hallway with doors along the north wall and a morning glow coming from an archway further down the hall. The ferret went ahead and saw kobold tracks leading to the first door. IT could smell their gear beyond.

They entered to find a chamber bare except for a sundered stone sarcophagus under arched windows against the far wall. Their gear was thrown into a pile in the center of the room along with a few extra weapons and bags. As they were donning their arms and armor, a ghostly visage rose from the sarcophagus. It was a gaunt skeletal ghost wreathed in black robes forever disintegrating into moths. Its eyes flashed blue and it introduced itself as Erikonig the Oracle. It offered to read the fate of any who would gaze into its eyes.

The three out of four elves in the party conversed and knew this to be an elf lord of ancient times said to be able to foretell destiny. The first elf stepped forward and when she looked into his eyes, he gazed in anger and shouted “yours remains unknown as you shall outlast me!” The next elf had his fate read that he would be slain by betrayal. The elf ranger and human fightress were both foretold to die bloody deaths. Erikonig then stated that when the moment of their fate being sealed has come, if they should somehow avert that destiny, then they will be granted a great gift.

He then evaporates, but before doing so, he thanks them for releasing him from his fate and plucks a hair from his head which becomes substantial as the ghost disappears. It is a heartstone, a sliver of Erikonigs elf spirit.

Moving on they came to the archway and found a room with windows letting in the morning sun. There were laquered weapon racks on the wall. Most were damaged or empty except for four shelves, containing a glistening battle axe, a gently glowing katana, a silvery scimitar and a bright long sword. Below each weapon was a small shelf, with an inscribed poem in elvish script. It read that each of these was a legendary weapon to be weilded by the greatest elven heroes. That to be true, they must lay the heartstone of one who has given them their trust and that shall allow the retrieval of the weapon. It goes on to say that if the wielder is slain or the weapon is lost, it will return to this chamber. Zubizu the fightress lays the hair of Erikonig on the shelf before the katana and so doing claims it as her own.

The next door in this hallway led to another empty cell with a broken sarcophagus. Inside this one a hideous evil elf wraith sprang out to atack the party. He scored on hit on Zubizu, clutching her heart and squeezing it before being hacked apart by the incessant attacks. The wraith wore a circlet with a black diamond on its pale brow. The diamond was a heartstone, and they found another red ruby heart in a concealed compartment in the crypt. There was a secret door, which led to an old library, untouched for ages. They found a spell book and 1500 gold worth of decorative items. The desk was finely wrought and worth 1500 gold, but was too bulky to carry. In the back wall of the room they found a secret door whch led to a door in the outer wall and a narrow stair leading tothe valley floor. It was a secret exit!

They decided to explore one more chamber before leaving. They heard the sound of trickling water down a hallway to the south which led to a room empty but for a trickling pool in the center. As they approached a ten foot snake made of rippling, splashing water attacked them. It was a water weird from the elemental plane of water. No matter how much damaged they did, it reformed in two rounds to attempt to drag them into the pool and drown them. The pool was filled with gold coins, and they even found a rare diamond worth 1,000 gold before leaving while they were still ahead.

Using the secret exit they made their way back to Deadrock to cash in their plunder for around 900 gold apiece. Not too shabby, and they received a much warmer welcome this time around.

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Game night May 3 – DnD5e playtest Ruined Fortress of the Evil Overlord

There were friends, there was pizza, there was cherry vodka with sierra mist free (surprisingly good, perhaps even surpassing strawberry crush – and diet even!) and a good night of gaming. Lets see where did it start…

The party was standing in a hall somewhere, having just slain a procession of orcs. They entered the Flag chamber from the double doors at the end of the long hall. While discovering ancient and expensive flags and banners, they also disturbed a nest of two volts, flying creatures with big mouths at one end and a whip-like electrified tail at the other. Known as ‘electric eels of the air’ the creatures wreaked havoc before being slain. They found a magic banner which radiates a resistance to fear.

Needing to rest, the party camped out in the flag chamber, and spent a tense but quiet night. Moving out the next morning, they chose to return to the chamber with the lightning bolt trap. They miscalculated, believing the trap to be mechanical in nature, and once again the kobolds behind the door unleashed a lightning bolt. This time the entire party was in the room (I presumed) and all but two characters were dropped below zero. The kobolds burst into the room while the elf ranger and cleric tried to save as many fallen comrades as possible. (tpk: total party kill.)

Every tpk is different, and often some of the party survives. The most typical case is when a player is absent, or the character escapes, but in this case, saving for half damage allowed these two members, both of whom had healing spells, to survive. The ensuing battle however, with more lightning bolts, and six kobolds would have been unendurable, so I ruled the party captured. Only one character, the rogue, was permanently killed, and only because at the beginning of the night I vowed that the next character to die must play a monk, and she became interested.

Hours later the characters awoke in a cell room, two per cell. There were bars looking out into the mountain valley hundreds of feet below. Captured again, all their stuff taken, they were back to square one. Estimating the distance to the ground, they at least discovered they finally made it up to the next level. After a lot of work, they managed to escape their cells.

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Game Night April 27 – DnD 5e and the Ruined Fortress of the Evil Overlord

Behold the power of the lava lamps

Even though one person had to cancel for work, even though we didn’t get started until way late and had to scramble for an ultimateley awesome meal of appetizers, even though we are still working our way through understanding the rules this iteration it was still a great night of gaming. The party bulldozed though almost half of the first level of the dungeon.

The night started where we left off. The party had just slain a pack of kobolds and were questioning the lone survivor. Its face and arms were painted with blue lightning bolts, and it spoke of its god who dwelt in the top of the ruined tower. The kobold agreed to tell them where the stairs leading up were in exchange for letting it live. The party agreed and the kobold pointed to a door in the north wall and mumbled something about being through there. He then pushed the door open which revealed a room epty except for a few coins and a chunk of questionable meat in the center of the room. The paladin and barbarian each rushed in of course, eager to grab the booty.

A perternatural sense of danger cause Glory the paladin to stop in place, while the barbarian, sensing victory rushed forward and fell through a trap-door covered pit. It was dark down there, and he took some falling damage, but sprang to his feet just in time to hear two shambling forms moving towards him from the shadows. The fightress was the first to arrive on the scene, shining her torch down into the pit to allow the barbarian to duke it out with the pair of famished zombies. A few arrows were launched from above, but they were ineffectual, and it was the barbarian’s orcish battle ax that quickly slew the monstrosities.

During this time, the kobold prisoner took the opportunity to escape, sticking his tongue out at his captor the wizardess, as he ran off laughing.

Doc piled the bodies to aid his climb to the surface, and while doing so, he noticed the skeleton of an elf, concealed by a grey cloak. The cloak turned out to be a Cloak of Elvenkind, which he lovingly draped over his crush, the wizard Reya’s shoulders.

Old school dungeon crawling at its finest

Moving on, they came to a long hallway with windows at the far eastern end, showing the afternoon sky. The drop was over five hundred feet to the valley floor below, and they could hear vultures screeching above. There were two passages and two sets of double doors out of this room, so they chose the nearest set of double doors and pushed through. The room was empty except for a pair of doors and an old tapestry on the wall. The ranger detected the tracks from many creatures in the chamber and bent down for closer inspection.

While searching the chamber, he oticed a large rack in the wall and heard the scurrying of a multitude of tiny clawed feet. A swarm of rats were about to charge from the hole. Thinking fast, he cast Expeditious retreat on himself, and ran towards the wall hanging, intending to stuff it in the crack. When he pulled down the hanging, it revealed a concealed door. In his hurry he did not notice the small hole drilled through the center of the room before a lightning bolt lanced out from it.

The bolt hit the far wall, and rebounded through the room, injuring the ranger, the fightress, and knocking out the wizardess Reya. Soon after, the party heard the “HAROOOO” of a horn blast from the other side of the door and beat a hasty retreat.

They paused to catch their breath in the long hall, while the cleric healed Reya, and once they were sure no one was coming after them from the recently vacated room, chose to explore in a different direction. The entered a chamber with a large black desk and some overturned cupboards. The ranger sent his ferret familiar into the chamber, which discovered a poisonous centipede just before it was bitten and died from he poison. The ferret, being magical, disappeared, and the centipede reared up, angry at being denied a meal. Its faceted eyes centered on the paladin Glory in the doorway, who glared back and charged. She was unlucky though, trying to charge through the obstacles, and when she brought down her orcish battle axe, it bit into her own foot instead of the vermin. It struck her, but the paladin shook off the affects of the poison and went on to slay the foul beast. The party spent the next ten minutes sacking the chamber but discovered nothing of interest.

A door led through the next chamber, and the paladin led the way, but was lucky for the second time, as she stopped in the middle of the chamber just before stepping onto another covered pit trap. This one opened to reveal a pool of green slime at its bottom.

They soon came to a door that seemed stuck, but the wizard showed a surprising amount of strength. The sleeves of her robe stretched as her muscled bulged, and she pushed open the door, pushing rubble aside to reveal a room whose north end was a collapsed heap of rubble, letting light of the early evening shine through cracks. They heard the rustling of bats in the ceiling, but quietly searched the chamber. The barbarian saw a severed skeletal wrist poking from the rubble, and uncovered an ancient human warrior. Most of his arms and armor were long rusted away except for a gold insignia ring and a ruby encrusted sword sheath which appeared to be magical. The fightress hung the empty sheath from her belt in hopes of soon filling it with something better than the looted orcish battle axes which she and most of the party were forced to wield. They managed to leave the room without waking the bats.

Soon they came to a bend in the hallway, which had a door on one side, and they discovered a secret door on the other. No amount of force they mustered could open the secret door, so they turned their attention to the other one which opened easily enough. It revealed an old cloak room with nothing of interest.

They were just deciding where to go next, and had re-entered the long hall, when a patrol of 7 orcs rounded a corner. Everyone was surprised, but the party recovered first, unleashing a hail of arrows and daggers and charging warriors at the orcs, before the wizardess strode forward with palms held outward. She unleashed a cone of fire that burnt 6 of the 7 orcs to a crisp. The last orc, turned tail and ran, but was unable to push open the door he sought to escape through. He was cut down from behind, and the session ended there.

Whew, we accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. The orc battle began when we were fifteen minutes over our regular end time, and was over less than five minutes later, thanks to the Burning Hands of Reya. Great game.

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Game Night April 19 – Playtestsing DnD5 and the Ruined Fortress of the Evil Overlord

There is a lot going on this week, what with trying to get my store front set up, and trying to finish up the next four installments of the Ruined Fortress of the Evil Overlord, so I am going to have to make this recap brief. Let me start by recounting the meal, which was made up of incredibly delicious grilled burgers and curly fries. I had two burgers, one with grilled onion, and the other california-style with guacamole. Oh yum it was good.

Last week saw the beginning of a new campaign, where the palyers were forced to play zero-level characters enslaved by orcs, forced to escape from a dungeon the night before their harvest. They survived, well some of them did, and made it to the nearest town, Deadrock, though half-starved wearing the bloody armor of their erstwhile captors. Along with this odiferous bunch were a pair of wood elves also on their way to infamous Deadrock, there to see their fortunes made. Greetings were held under the glare of the city guard preparing to open the town gates for another day of business in Deadrock.

A rough and tumble pioneer town, the party did not have much time to explore the sights. They rented rooms, bathed, and went out to by a set of clothes with the meager coin they had scavenged from the slave pens. The next day they were politely asked by representatives of the town concil to exit the town until such time as they could afford their own upkeep. This was mainly done because I wanted to get to the dungeon, and having a bunch of thugs wandering around without a copper to their name was bound to get ugly. Let’s fight monsters.

The party did not resist the nudge toward adventure and before you knew it they were walking the pillaged demesne of the evil overlord. Forgoing the ancient roads, the party struck a path straight across the valley towards the dark speck that was the ruined fortress. With incredible luck they managed to avoid any detection or random encounters along the way, ntil they arrived at the foot of the long stair that leads up the mountainside to the entrance of the ruins. Here they heard a loud buzzing, one might say a GIANT buzzing, and proceeded to build a ring of burning, smoking vegetation, into which they prepared to defend themselves against the rapidly approaching giant bees.

Nearly a dozen bees attacked, and even though the bees were disadvanteaged due to the smoke and fire, one of our new wood elves, a rogue, was struck with a deadly stinger and perished almost instantly from the poison. (I felt bad for the new player, being killed without having a chance, but I let him return the next round with the brother of the slain, who had been running after the party for two days and finally caught up just in time to witnsess his dead brother being carried away by giant bees.)

The party was able to kill or drive off the rest of the bees without further casualties, and made their way up the steps of the ruined fortress, with openings like eye sockets watching their approach. Scouting around the top, they opened a few doors, checked out the flag chamber, an empty office, then made their way to another chamber full of kobolds. Another battle broke out, and this time two characters went down, but were healed by the cleric. The other wood elf turned into a bear and mauled the kobolds savagely, while the human fightress waded through the chamber, and laid waste all around her.

They took one kobold catpive, searchd the room and found a lock box with 55 gold and two 50 gold piece pears, which one of the rogues tried to secretly pocket, but was discovered by the bear, who let out a warning growl. Don’t mess with the bear.

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Game Night April 12th – Playtesting D&D 5 Zero Level Rules for a new campaign.

This week’s game was important for a number of new experiences. We were starting a new campaign, we are using the newest D&D 5th edition playtest rules after mostly not playing D&D for many months, we were starting out at zero level for the first time ever with new house rules I created for use with a new Dungeon Crawl campaign, The Ruined Fortress of the Evil Overlord which I am self-publishing.

meatball cupcakes

There were supposed to be a few more fortuitous concurrences, like breaking open my new metric tonne of miniatures from the Reaper Mini Kickstarter, but alas, they haven’t shipped yet, and so it wasn’t meant to be. It was also an incredible night thanks to Shannon, whose birthday we were celebrating, and who brought delicious steak(!) for dinner, and for Khar (I mean Harrison) who brought both a cake, and cupcakes made of meatloaf with frosting of bacon and cheese. I kid you not, they were the best thing I have ever tasted. I had to drink an extra tall glass of cherry vodka just to thin the meat packing my stomach. It was good.

Zero Level Adventuring

The rules of the game are very simple: roll the ability scores (4d6 drop the lowest) three times, do not bother putting them into the attributes — right now they are just nebulous numbers. The characters are literal blank slates, with no class, nor even race or sex (all virgins). Imagine them as grey cloaked figures of questionable lineage. Each character has 2 hit points and an armor class of 10. That’s it.

The fact that each player rolls up three sets of scores means they were not as worried about losing a character. In fact, if some of the characters might have terrible scores and be purposefully put into perilous positions.

Now, as they go through the adventure, which should be geared to be very deadly, they will want to do things, like break something for example. At that point the dungeon master asks them to put one of their numbers into the strength attribute, and make a strength check. If it was successful they would then make a note of their deeds done. Eventually most of characters end up with their scores filed in as the adventure progresses: strength for brute stuff, dexterity to be sneaky, wisdom to be perceptive, etc.

One interesting factor was that the player had time to choose which score went where, and the dynamic of needing a good roll at the moment, countered by the scorer that they wanted for their future character concept, created a great spread of the numbers, not always optimized towards the future class.

This can also be used for deciding racial factors, by asking if anyone has the ability to detect sloping passages, for example, a dwarf might be revealed. Uncovering themes, backgrounds and other specialties, depending on the length of the zero level period are also possible. Even class abilities can be discovered through play,such as a character making a wisdom check to pray to her deity for divine aid, or a sagacious character making an intelligence check to detect the presence of magic.

Each character should be allowed one mundane non-weapon item worth no more than a single gold piece, such as a rock, nail, ice pick, or a flask of acid (what?), a loin cloth and a drab cloak. Whoever survives the adventure becomes a first level character. They can keep the two extra hit points as a reward.

Playtesting the Zero Level rules

Deadrock

Did I mention the extra tall glass of cherry vodka? Keep it in mind. We playtested an adventure called Under Ghost Town, from my upcoming second installment of the Ruined Fortress of the Evil Overlord –Level 0: Deadrock and the Pillaged Demesne of the Evil Overlord.

Six individuals set out on journeys for riches and reward, each wanting to accumulate (and spend) one million gold pieces. The town of Deadrock, a rough and tumble pioneer town on the edge of civilization was known far and wide as a place where heroes were forged. It seemed a perfect place to begin a life of tomb robbing and adventure. On their way they were captured by orcs.

The orcs herded them through a wasteland of conquered desolate territory. They eventually passed through a deserted town, on the edge of which was a corn field ready to be harvested. The bones of the farmers who planted the crops were piled at the edge of town. For weeks the characters toiled in the fields under the whips of the savage orcs, knowing that when the corn was harvested, so would they be.

Tonight was the last night before the harvest. They must escape. Every night bags were placed over their heads and they were marched down three flights of stairs and through two streams before being locked in cells in a dank dungeon.

I asked the players if anyone was sure their charater wanted to be non-human. Two people raised their hands, our local gnome and our elf ranger knew what they wanted. No one else was sure, so I said ok, the room is dark, only the elf and dwarf can see. Gotcha!

One character spotted a ring of keys on a hook next to the door. Another character wove her cloak into a lovely scarf. Another character had a nail and successfully picked the lock to her cell door, go thief! The ring of keys only opened the cells, they had to also pick the door, then they filed out into the hall.

A tripwire was tripped, causing four orc guards to open a nearby door. The party had already taken off down the hall, turning in random directions, until the met the orc captain coming the other way. They found themselves in a dead end, but a stream crossed the tunnels. It was blocked by iron bars, which were eventually bent apart, and the characters dove into the stream and were went downstream just before the orcs got to them.

Then the party were swept up agains another set of iron bars as it passed through another hallway and they began to drown as the ones in the front scrambled to bend or break the bars. One character drowned in that awful mess, but they managed to escape into a new hallway and wne tup some stairs and detected a fresh breeze which they followed up more stairs. This led to a locked door. They cold feel the fresh air blowing in from the rack under the door and frantically tried to pick the lock as the orcs cuaght up with them.

They broke out int the ruins of an old shrine and ran through town towards the cornfield. They found a pile of scythes, then went into the field to prepare an ambush for the orcs.

The orcs stumbled right into the ambush, being surprised, and these amateurs went to town on them with sickles. Heads were lopped of on both sides. The bottle of acid broke against the orc captains neck and its hidoues flesh melted and bubbled away, yet still the ferocious beastman fought on. One gnome went down, then the thief, then the new thief, and one player was on the last of her three characters.

They won the fight, and any humans were allowed to don the bloody studded leather and one suit of chainmail. They all took battle axes, short bows, and a pair of daggers, and divided the 25 gold, then set off for a line of dark along the southern horizon.

They saw a huge eagle shaped creature circling above them right as they came to a small river. One character proceeded to crawl into the river with a set of chainmail, confident it would keep her under water and afe from the terror flying above. It did though she also began to drown and had to be pulled to safety, right as the Hart Bird attacked!

The Fearsome Hart Bird

With the body of a giant eagle and the head of a stag, with sharp jutting tusks, the hart bird was a dangerous predator. The two most intelligent characters put their heads together and figure dout this was a hart bird, or peryton, and they it had two distinctions. The first was that it used its tusks to pry open the chest of its prey and eat its still beating heart. The second thing was that it was immune to non-magical weapons. They were in trouble.

The wise dwarf prayed for Moradin to bless their weapons, but he was still miffed that she deigned to use a bladed weapon and answered not her prayer. Eventually a magically inclined high elf ranger wannabe managed to squeeze out the minutest of spells, and caused a weapon to glow as if magical. This caused the hart bird to hesitate, and they made a run for the woods.

They made into the woods and built a fire to keep the monsters away and await the dawn. The next day they made it to Deadrock, wielding bloody orcish arms and armor and with no more than a handful of coins apiece. I would say that adventure was worth gaining a level.

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Game Night D&D Playtest – The Mud Sorcerer’s Tomb

We had a great night of food, friends, and gaming, as usual fueled by the efforts of all, including delicious Thai roast chicken and pork shish kebabs (spell check says I might mean shipboards). The chicken was spiced with an alternative to curry. I didn’t catch the name but it was very good, having much of the same flavor but milder. The pork when finished was as red and hot as a red dwarf star, but painfully delectable. There were also these strange stuffed grape or olive leaves that tasted really, really good, but every person who had one asked at least once what was in them, and despite reading the ingredients, were none the wiser. Marjoram? Shannon has been known to bring odd foods to the table, such as alligator meat, so it is always enlightening to check the ingredients whenever possible. Great dinner.

We had a new player this week, who has some experience with D&D. Despite being a nerd of many years, he only learned 4th edition last year, and taught himself to dm for his group of friends. Playing as the rogue, his character was every bit the rogue. At the end of the night, we were all talking and some one asked him how it was and he obviously had had a great time (just sitting next to whom he was sitting next to I’m sure contributed) but when I asked how he and I compared as dms, he was speechless for at least five minutes, with a sort of glassy look. Finally he said I was much more relaxed. Heh.

I believe he meant that as a compliment, and the evening of play was very consistent with my style of play. We play a very light-hearted game (with occasional short sudden bouts of serious business) and I am a joker by nature, so I can’t help but be as funny as “I can be while dming. Not that I am actually funny, mind, it is just my efforts at humor. The table is also a big mess. Not wanting to draw anything, I decided that with this dungeon crawl, I would use dungeon tiles. This meant that corridors ended up going up and over people’s plates, around a candle, or salt shaker, and often rotated in completely non-euclidian ways. Miniatures were scattered more often by kittens than by stone golems.

I often go into exposition mode and am willing to distort the adventure for the purpose of expanding upon theoretical or philosophical ideas. For instance, I learned this week that the heat density of the universe is lopsided as shown by the cosmic background radiation. The universe is 10 per cent brighter on one side (and there’s a huge cold spot.) This could be linked to patterns in existence before the big bang, since the CMB is supposed to represent the shape of the universe a trillionth of a trillionth of a second after the big bang, when the universe was smaller than a single particle. I theorize that this lends credence to the theory of a multiverse, and that the patterns imprinted upon our newborn universe are the latent patterns of the universe from which ours spawned. It seems obvious.

I used this theory of the multiverse to illustrate my point, and even more importantly, to justify why famous characters from across campaigns and editions and levels have all gathered together to go down into a cave. The real reason is that I wanted to playtest the 3/20/13 release of “D&D Next” and one of the included adventures required 10th level characters. Added to this, everyone in the group seemed ready to get back to D&D after four months of modern zombie survival horror. It was a surprise for them to have all their favorite characters converted into 10th level versions for the new playtest. It was an instant success.

Why would all these heroes from different epochs gather together suddenly? Well a small figure in a red robe appeared. He told them he was the master of the dungeon which stood before them, and he explained that all their past lives were nothing more than preparation for this moment. They had only a few hours to break into yonder tomb, and destroy the slumbering corpse of a powerful mud lord and all her minions. Her tomb was in an extra-dimensional space that threatened to break off into a new universe with her mad mud magics, and thereby destroy this reality in the process. Better get a move on!

So that was the set up. They went into a natural cavern, and almost got stumped by the block of granite sealing the entrance to the tomb. For a moment it looked like it might be over before it even started. All the heroes of the ages stood around shrugging, wondering if maybe there might be something better on the other side of the gray mist.

OK, long story short, they went in, ignored the long pools and then the half orc dove into the square pool to retrieve a key the druid had spotted. In the room of tears, they bottled up a vial of acidic tears and found the secret door, then proceeded to get pummeled by stone golems. We had to turn that statue about 150 times as the characters used that room as their hub while exploring all the way to the purple coffin. Poor Cadence the wise stripped off her lucky charm to make room for the new shiny necklace of choke-you-till-your-dead.

It was getting gruesome. she stood there gripping her neck looking hopeless while the party debated what to do. The wizard I mean ranger had the greatest idea. put her in the coffin, cast water breathing on her, which gives gills, and then create water to fill the casket. Or cast polymorph to turn her into a creature with no neck. (I ruled that would not work as the magic item would transfer with all her other items.) Then the rogue remembered the vial of baby-tears acid, which I ruled worked on the necklace because hey magic baby tears. And because it was the best of the three ideas they came up with, but it was a hard call. i would have loved to see the party toting around my wife in a casket full of water all night, heh. In true role playing spirit, she barely said a word during the whole episode. Come to think of it, she might not have talked to me for awhile after that.

(In the module, nothing short of a wish, or a few specific spells could reverse the affect of the necklace. I always like to see the wacky plans my players concoct, things that Abbott and Costello might come up with when they are drunk, and that is how they usually solve things. Crazy antics. It was not the only time that night the ranger used his create water spell. Im just sayin’…)

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A Rogue’s Gallery of D&D Next Characters

Just a quick post to show off the level 10 pregenerated characters for tonight’s session of the playtest, featuring a remake of a remake of a classic Dungeon adventure, The Mud Sorcerer’s Tomb. All comments (and checking for accuracy) are welcome. Enjoy!

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Game Night Irish 2013 – Shelter from the Zombie Apocalypse

This being the Friday before St Patrick’s day (he was a saint!) we celebrated Irish style, and on the menu we had corned beef and cabbage, lots of it. Two point-cut briskets baked in the oven were the main course, while a pair of cabbages, one green and one purple, were cooked to perfection 3 different ways. I steamed cabbage by putting it in a colander over a pot of boiling water, with butter and salt. I sauteed cabbage in a large pan with grilled onions and butter, and finally, I tried a new way. I put cabbage in the pan with the baking brisket for the last hour. This type of cabbage I referred to as ‘slaw’ since it contained some bits of fat, brisket, and other tidbits. It was arguably the best of the three.

Having found out this week that I am half Irish on my mother’s side, Hatfield of those Hatfields, this was an especially important holiday get-together for me. With some rolls and cupcakes provided by guests, we had a great irish feast. There was a lot of cabbage left at the end of the night, but only a pile of pink fat where the briskets once reposed. Good food, good times. Oh, and we also played some role playing games.

The group was a little smaller and more laid back this week. For awhile now, I have been using a new method of play, where I focus on the players at the table and don’t wait around or go in search of anyone who wanders off from the table. This method seems to work wonders, everyone who stays at the table is interested and having a good time. Even during combat, if it is somebody’s turn to go, and the seat is absent, I move on to the next person. They might just be away for a moment, in which case we assume the character “delayed their turn” until their return, but if a round has come and gone, then delay turns into missed turn. To offset this, “absent” characters are rarely attacked or harmed. I like to think of them as the ghost-form of a character, standing there doing nothing, like some online games use when the character is dead or incapacitated. Their character blinks from transparent blue into vivid color the moment the player sits down and asks what they can do.

Okay then, onto the game for real this time.

The survivors left the bleak house of the suicide serial killer and his yard full of undead hookers poste haste after burning the body and banishing his evil ghost. They drove all night and as dawn broke, the clouds began dispersing, warming the land and melting the ash-laden snow that covered everything, they arrived at their destination: The Church of the Prior Day Saints.

This church was a mostly unknown offshoot of the Church of Latter Day Saints(C) which was founded in the Kansas City area. The Prior Day Saints believe that the savior walked among our neanderthal and cro-magnon ancestors. Otherwise, they are a pretty crazy, cultish bunch. This building was the churches main chapel, and it looked like a small gothic cathedral tucked onto the corner of main street and Mayberry in downtown Smalltown America, an actual town in northern Missouri. Across the street was the town hall, and next door was a bar, the Winchester, and next to that was a free clinic. Around the far side of the street could be seen zombies of ill repute, like drug addicts, junkies, hookers, pimps, and teenage girls. Around the other side of the street were zombies wearing t-shirts and bearing placards with slogans such as “We believe in creation!”

The chapel was surrounded by a black wrought iron fence and the gate was locked. The church itself was stone, with thick iron-reinfoced oaken doors, and tall narrow windows. It also had a small cemetery in the back yard, which held the remains of the churches earliest members. Well, not the cave man ones, but a hundred or two years old. They were once buried there, but now holes in front of the gravestones attested to the dozen or so skeletons meandering on the wrong side of the fence. The skeletons looked black, with a supple leather skin covering them, as though their dessicated flesh had mummified. The scientists in the group pondered the unlikeliness of this situation, but they were reassured once an explanation was made, regarding very dark energy and very dark matter that has been “ionized” by the Zeta radiation emitted from the near miss of Asteroid Z.

No Warm Bodies here

So, the group formed a corridor of two fighters on each side, while the dozen or so children were passed over the locked gate from the roof of the escalade. Each fighter was attacked by a skeleton, on one side we had the Scarlet Harlot with her customized nail gun (it ran on hate and rage) and her protector, the dauntless Buzz Lombardo, the unsuccessful second cousin of Buzz Lightyear. He flunked out of astronaut training and spent the next 12 years at the university, mostly going to frat parties, while attempting to get a masters degree in Humanities. He will never complete his degree now.

However, they fought well together, and more than once, they helped one another. The scarlet harlot blasted a zombie in the skull with her nail gun just before it bit into Buzz’s neckbeard. Another time, She hit a zombie in the temple with a high speed nail, but it didn’t slay the beast. One of its green glowing eyes started flickering, but the other eye glowered as menacingly as ever. Buzz had a shovel (a fine melee weapon, used similarly to a bohemian ear spoon in close combat) and he used his shovel to pound the nail further into the skeleton’s skull, shattering it.

On the other side of the line stood Dr Zara Zhar and the the video clerk one-eye Jay. They combined forces in much the same way, with Zara blasting limbs off the skeleton with each karate strike, and then Jay would blast their skulls to smithereens with his twin 44 mags. One of the last skeletons was attacking Buzz, and Scarlet was unable to help since she grappled with a fiend of her own. Dead eye Jay turned around, and tried to aim through the children as they were being passed between them. Child, child, child, SPACE, child, child, child, SPACE then BOOM its a hit, the last skeleton’s head exploded into dust.

They front door was locked, so Buzz tried picking the lock… with a fireman’s axe. It wasn’t working, so they went around back and found an unlocked fire exit. They also heard faint praying coming from a tiny cottage in the back corner of the lot, and in it was Father Mmkay, the priest of the chapel. He seemed dazed and said he had seen no one since the dead came to life and has been on his knees praying for the past day and night. He also feared for Abbot Scotty, his assistant priest.

They went inside and checked the ground floor. No zombies, just a big empty chamber with pews, a stained glass window, and an ancient looking stone cross, that looked like a cross with a small circle inscribed near the axis. It was one of the foundational icons of the Church of Prior Day Saints.

Upstairs housed a small domrmitory with bathroom and showers, as well as the abbot’s chambers, which were empty, his bed unslept in. Downstairs had a kitchen and a room for playing bingo, and a locked steel door that led to, you guessed it, the crypt. Four levels of buried dead, all peacefully resting in. Riiiiight…

Luckily, the priest assured them were nothing more than ashes in urns.

The survivors debated whether they should search all four sub-basements, and in the end, they decided it was worth it to be sure. Every level was just row upon row of ash-filled urns, until the very bottom, which was empty except for a stack of crates containing unused urns. Next to that was an old dusty deep freezer. The power was out, so whatever was in there would surely be bad, right? Dr Zara Zhar opened the lid to find out.

It was bad. What happened next has been deemed to vile to ever mention again, so let us wrap this up with the knowledge that while none of the survivors were killed by what leapt shrieking and mewling out of that deep freezer, none were left unscathed, either.

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Game night March 8 – Cruising the zombie apocalypse in my Escalade

Our last session ended in a wild escape through a zombie infested World of Fun amusement park in an SUV packed full of 18 survivors, including a dozen children. In the process of rescuing the children, they discovered a hastily erected military base in the fields behind the park, using the flashing sounds and lights to conceal their true activities. In the course of the rescue, the survivor’s discovered stealth bombers landing and taking off like clockwork. long line of semi-trailers held huge bombs under tarp, two to a trailer, which were being loaded onto the bombers. The convoy of trucks was protected by soldiers in humvees and helicopters with spotlights.

The night began with a tank shell whizzing past the Escalade and exploding into a nearby clown tent, creating a meteor shower of flaming giant shoes and red flashing noses. Behind the wheel, Zooey Zubezu led them out of the park and into a mesa of concrete. The convoy of trucks blocked was an impenetrable line at the far end of the parking lot. She sped up and approached at an angle, hoping to find a break in the line. Suddenly the last semi came into view with a rear gaurd of troops. They stared open-mouthed as the SUV roared past, their fight with the walking dead forgotten for a moment at the strange sight of a beat up and bloody Caddilac careening out into the infested darkness at full speed. Even the zombies paused in their insatiable quest for brains to witness the event.

A humvee pulled out of the line and went after the survivors. the video store clerk was in the back, watching the headlights approach as the military vehicle gained on them. At the end of the lot, Zooey was forced to turn onto the highway onramp, even though they knew the highway to be clogged with stalled vehicles and hungry dead. Luckily, most of the indfected had abandoned the highway for the flashing lights of the amusement park, and Zooey was able to zoom along the highway, two wheels on the gravel of the emergency lane, steering around open doors, stalled vehicles, and other dark objects suddenly appearing in the beams of her headlights, while she tried to keep the vehicle from sliding down into the gully at the highway’s edge.

The night was dark, the sky an inky, roiling black, and the temperature was dropping. The gritty grey snow covered everything, fallout from the meteoric event. The rising, restless dead were another kind of fallout. Apocalypse had come to the world, by way of a nameless rock on an eternal voyage through space, and the strange radiation it emitted.

The video clerk heard a low thumping, the sound of a helicopter, though the sky was a void. “We’re gonna have company!” he shouted to the others. The softballer Mary-sue saw a flash in the sky behind and above them, and everyone heard the rocket streaking towards them. Zooey jerked the wheel to the right. They shot down into the gully, bouncing over the uneven ground. Jay the clerk had a plan. The SUV hauled a motorcycle on a small trailer, and they had connected it so that the tail-lights worked on the trailer. If they could disable the lights, they might escape. He had only a few second, so he shoved his wirecutters into the diminutive Italia’s hands, told her the plan and held her legs while she pulled aside the tarp and leaned out. They were bouncing and jouncing over the open ground beside the highway. Jay grabbed her ankles and down she went, trying to find the wires. It was a frightening moment but she pulled it off, and the escalade went dark just as the rocket blew up a stalled vehicle on the highway.

The car bounced over a curb and then they were driving nearly blind down an outer road that ran parrallel to the highway. They whooped in relief when they saw the helicopter circling the burning wreckage behind them. They had escaped. Looking down, Zooey realized they were nearly out of fuel, and they turned onto the next crossroad they found, which led to a small rural town. The power was out, and the main features were a pair of gas stations. The dozen children were all wailing to use the bathroom. They needed to get out and go, but no one was willing to use the public restroom so all the kids had to get out and pee around the car.

Aside: This might be the first time a basic bodily function became an element of play in a role playing game that I am aware. The fact that it was a bunch of freaked out kids in subfreezing weather, too afraid to use the public restroom was pretty jarring. I had to lighten it up a bit.

One kid couldn’t go. He said his mom always holds his hand, so Zooey takes his hand and say now go. He says he can’t because everyone else cansee him. She takes him behind the car, ]but he says he needs more privacy. Can they go behind this nearby tree? Zooey gets suspicious. Boy starts crying. Zooey looks around frantically. A screech from above and a green-glowing eyed gull sweeps down towards them.

Attack of devil birds is happening

The treetop explodes into a black cloud of hundreds more devil birds. The birds form up into a swirling cloud above the vehicle and begin divebombing the survivors.

Mary Sue was pumpling gas from a manhole cover into a 5 gallon gas can, while Zara Zhar was pouring another one into the vehicle. children were all around the vehicle doing their thing, Jay the clerk stood around watching over things, pistols holstered and a steel bar (or something) in his hands when the birds attacked.

Zooey holds off the first bird with her backpack. she feels wet warmth all over her shins as someone finally decides to go. (Too far?) The second bird lands on the SUV in front of Zara. She attempts to hit it with her karate, but doesn’t want to spill the gas, and misses her target. The devil bird leap in and plunges its beak into her left eye. Her last view (with that eye) is of a slightly opened beak and a long sharp tongue about to pierce her pupil. The bird pulls back, and with a gulp, her eye is swallowed. She screams in rage and pain, but does not spill the gas.

The next gull swoops down on Mary Sue who quickly shoves the fuel hose into the nearest kid’s hand and pulled out her trusty softball bat. The gull’s head explodes with a satisfactory sensation and she continues in a 360 degree arc to bust open the next bird to swoop down. They call for all kids to get in the vehicle. Italia holds off more and more birds trying to get thruough the tarp covering the open back window, and pulls her samurai sword. Jay has some sort of weapon he wields.

The next round two more birds swoop down upon each of them. Mary fills up the can and decides it is time to go. Three more apiece are right behind the two. As the survivors retreat into the vehicle, each must confront their personal demon birds. Zooey loses and eye. Jay loses anjeye, and comes an eyelash away from being blinded. One child is mauled by a zombe gull and loses both eyes, but it is later found (after a heated argument with an increasingly appalled player – my wife that is) that his eyelids were torn but his eyes were saved. (Still legally blind heehee)

Evil aside: Yes I go into realms of pure evil at times, and my players are loath to be there when it happens. Things tend to happen, like tonight’s blinding party. It was pure luck and chance that anyone has any eyes left after this debacle. The gulls had a 2 dice pool to pluck an eye, no modifiers, or if they could not reach an eye they did one point regular damage. Then when I started attacking and blinding children (I had gulls left over what could I do?) it reached a tipping point where some people (like my wife) started to complain. It is always fun and games, laughing and joking, but like a bad movie, almost exactly like a bad movie, I take things too far regularly. Since we have kids in the game, I have to reel things back at times. I will resist any attempts to cry foul or too far, but only for so long. I usually end up one toke over the line, as the phrase goes.

Finally the phantasmagorical horrorshow was over, and one-eyed, Zooey pulled out into the night, with a quarter tank of gas and a car full of bleeding moaning survivors. They were in serious trouble. Out of the darkness she spots a house off the road. It is surrounded by a tall fance with privacy bushes, and she spotted the yellow square of a open doorway at night. At the open front gate she spots a waving figure. They pull to a stop.

The person is gone but the gate and front door are still open. There is an inviting fire burning in the hearth. They make their way through the yard, leaving the car running, with the kids and Zooey still inside. The yard is covered in the same gray snow, but the walkway has been cleared. There are holes dug in the yard, possibly made by a dog, and they hear a whimpering as they ascend the front porch. Oh no, what’s with the animals? Is it undead or undog we’re fighting here?

Okay okay, Mary Sue looks under the porch and finds a scared whimpering dog with a spike collar. Its alive! They pull him out and name him Spike. He is cared and runs inside. They follow, make a quick search of the house, noticing a backdoor and a door to a dark cellar which they do not bother searching because it is obviously empty. There is a old half-eaten dinner on the table, and the fire is very low. Looking out the back door they see a long yard with a big tree at the far end. The yard has even more holes dug, maybe as many as a dozen. This dog must really love burying bones. Or digging up bones?

They tuck the kids into the three upstairs bedroom, and one after another the kids start crying that the see a ghost. Then they hear a sound from the front yard, and a face appears in the glass. It is the decayed face of a woman. Just then they see more undead decayed women wandering around the back yard. They look like dead prostitutes, and they realize they are in the house of a serial killer, and are seeing his risen victims. Just then the ghost of the serial killer shrieks that they will never leave his home alive. Zara and the kids are coming down the stairs and he pulls the rug out from under them, casing them to tumble down the stairs. Luckily no one was hurt.

Stepping outside the back door, the ghost slams it behind her. She sees a corpse hanging from the tree at the far end of the yard, and undead prostitutes filled the yard between her and the tree, but she knew she had to destroy the corpse or they were doomed. She sprinted across the yard, and climbed into the tree. The corspe started swinging around wildly and twice hit her full force, but she held on, until she could climb the limb under which it hung. She tried various methods of dispelling the evil spirit, including prayer which failed miserably. Finally she decided to burn the motherfucker and that worked perfectly.

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Game night Feb 15th – World of Darkness, Worlds of Fun

Step right up to the zombie apocalypse!

Each week the success of our zombie apocalypse survival horror campaign continues to amaze. There have been issues for sure, many of them related to the sudden shift out of heroic fantasy and into something more modern, gritty, and “realistic,” but despite these bumps, the game is providing tons of fun for me and, I hope, the players as well.

On the menu this post-Valentine’s was meat and bread, with optional cheese. More steaming, dripping, details would do well to spice up the savory meal, but that should be left to the reader’s imagination, as the story must go on. Let it be said that all present were well sated, and that with good company, good food, and good drink, good times must perforce progress. Even an incompetent zombie master such as yours truly is counted amongst the capable when such circumstances prevail — which said zombie master knows well, and is thus able to contrive his own success beforehand, thereby putting truth to the lie. Or something. On the other hand, it was the player of dr zara zhar who brought such bounteous meat, and that of buzz lombardo who supplied the loaves, so while the key to a successful evening might well be in the hands of the incompetent master of dungeons, the many doors and locks insure that real success lies in cooperation, in life as well as in a role playing game.

Enough philosophy, let us bust some heads.

When the survivors escaped from the Broadway bridge the previous night, Buzz Lombardo and Scarlet Harlowe were separated from the rest. Scarlet and Buzz made their way across the highway and to the swanky apartment of Scarlet, Briarcliff Meadows, which stood on a bluff overlooking the river and the city and the highway. As the night progressed, they had a view of the chaos spreading, and watched as the infected victims clogging the highway below turned into a maniacal mob. They could hear the screams as the thousands of stranded fought and struggled against the initial wave of green-eyed infected. The TV continued to warn of dangerous weather fallout, until local news switched after midnight to a call from the mayor for anyone without decent shelter to make their way to the center of downtown. Then the lights went out and they knew they had to flee.

Dressed in the warmest clothes they could find, they set out into the night on Buzz Lombardo’s motorcycle. The problem was that the apartment complex was surrounded on all sides by the highway system, which was crawling with crazed lunatics who seemed unimpeded by the frigid temperatures, though the skin of these unfortunate victims turned various shades of blue from the cold. The more they drove, the more zombies the bike attracted, until they found an underpass and made it into the nearby suburb of north kansas city. by this time they had attracted a large mob of zombies staggering slowly after them.

Outside the hardware store, the rest of the survivors were finishing packing necessities into the newly absconded Cadillac escalade sport utility vehicle. They heard the approaching motorcycle and were re-united with the co-passengers of ill-fated google flight 666 from the nigh before. Safety lay in numbers, and after all the escalade comfortably seats 10. Lombardo didn’t want to lose his harley though, and so he and Amber quickly found and mounted a small trailer as Lombardo’s mob of zombies began appearing at the end of the street. the survivors pulled out onto the street with time to spare.

It was 10 am, and as dark as 10 pm. The temperature was well below freezing, and the sky was a mass of roiling dark clouds, full of black ash from the passing asteroid. All night long snow and sleet had glazed the world in a dirty grey layer of ice and driving was treacherous.

The jazz singer Zooey Zubizu took the wheel and navigated the vehicle through town. Their goal was the local amusement park, Worlds of Fun, where Mary Sue’s church youth group were stranded. Unfortunately the softball star was ill in the back seat the entire episode, due to an unfortunate encounter with a meatball sub, but she, as well as the player who played her, were there in spirit. (The show must go on!)

Zooey pulled the lumbering SUV onto the main thoroughfare in front of the hardware store. The streets were abandoned, and power was out most everywhere. Cars were stranded in the road or on the side, many with their doors open or with shattered windshields. Occasionally they would spot a silhouette or two lurching along in the darkness. They did not slow or stop for any of these forlorn figures. Once or twice they spotted headlights down a side-street, until a big truck, a hummer actually, pulled up behind them and started flashing its lights and revving its engine.

Zooey was not about to stop, so Buzz Lombardo rolled down the window and was like ‘what?’ a man’s voice shouted for them to pull over. he was like, ‘i dont think so’ and the guy said ‘i want that harley’ and rammed into the back of the trailer with the harley. luckly, it was secured well, and rattled around but the trailer and the bike survived the impact.

Zooey accelerated as best she could as the hummer rammed them a second time. it was clear they needed to give fight or flight. Rummaging through the plastic tubs from the hardware store, the scarlet harlot found a nail gun. It fired five round bursts, and after a quick argument, she ended it by rolling down her window, and firing at the wheels of the hummer. incredibly two nails struck the tire and caused the hummer to swerve and slow down momentarily as he fought for control. then his window rolled down and a shot was fired. Two bullets tore through the back door of the escalade, one of the bullets grazing the thigh of Italia d’Italia. His next shot blew out one of the back windows, just above the crouching form of J the video store clerk.

All bets were off. Buzz and J both unleashed their guns on the hummer, and though most rounds missed, one bullet put a spiderweb of cracks through the windshield of their pursuer. it was all the Scarlet Harlot needed. she unleashed another five rounds of nails into the cab, blasting through the cracked windshield, and the truck quickly decelerated, turning away. Zooey did not give it a second thought but gunned the engine, leaving the stranger in their dust.

A few minutes later they were out of the town and overlooking the plains upon which Worlds of Fun was situated. Though the day was dark as a moonless night and most of the city lay in darkness, the amusement park was lit up in all its glory. Roller coasters, a giant ferris wheel, carousels, and all the other dazzling attractions of the fun park were on and turned to the max. Somehow even from this distance, they felt like they could see and hear the screams of children on that ferris wheel of doom. It was at this point that more than one survivor suggested abandoning the plan of saving the children and seeking shelter instead.

The goth chick believed she was in tune with the spiritual world, and tried to sense if there were safety or danger below. she got a big no on the safety and a big yes on the danger. Buzz Lombardo was not a fan of church groups, and besides, the chick who wanted to save the kids isn’t even here! They decided to save the kids but it was dicey there for a moment.

Then they noticed the odd site taking place in the fields behind the amusement park. A military base had been set up complete with an airfield, and lines of stealth bombers were landing and taking off. It was known that there was a secret stealth bomber base near the city, but that did not explain why they should be in this unusual spot. Besides the jets, there was a flurry of activity on the ground and there were guard towers and barbed wire strung around the perimeter and many soldiers. The camp was situated so that it was shielded from the city and the nearby highway by the amusement park, and they were using that as camouflage for their activities, or to keep the zombies away. The other thing they noticed was a long line of semi-trucks with flatbed trailers, protected by soldiers, waiting in a long line to be offloaded onto the bombers. Whatever large objects they carried lay hidden under tarps, two to a truck, two to jet.

They cautiously approached the highway, driving off-road, and found it to be heavily congested with dead vehicles, but very few if any people. they wove between cars, and saw the answer to where the people went as they crossed over to the other side and saw lines of infected individuals standing at the chain link fence that separated the amusement park from the highway. hundreds of people were lined up along the fence or staggering alongside, looking for a way into the bright and shining amusement park.

Many of the survivors knew their way around the park, and Didi the raver and Zara the scientist had a common friend who worked there, Jeffrey the technician.

They drove towards the rear entrance, which butted up against a neighborhood, rather than the main entrance which was surrounded by acres of parking lot, as well as heightened military activity. as they approached the padlocked gate, a nearby military guard tower spotted them with its spotlight. A voice told them to turn back, they were entering a dangeroud and off-limits area. Zooey ignored the sound advice and gunned the engine straight through the front gate, blasting it open as the escalade surged through and into the main courtyard. A machine gun from the guard tower chased them with its bullets.

From here they could see the ferris wheel at the long end of a winding lane full of fanciful fun. There were chidren on the ride, huddled up and screaming, as the wheel spun relentlessly around, for what must have been the past twelve hours. The evidence of that time of terror were visible in the form of a zombie, limbs torn from its body as it got caught in the turning struts or another empty car was filled with blood and gore, but no sign of child or zombie. below the children, staggering around were dozens of zombies. Many of these zombies were the parents of the children but there was no telling why the children should be left alone on the ride in the first place, while their parents became zombified.

The children being here at all was due to a special private party arranged for the youth group months in advance. Without warning of the asteroid until it was too late and the party was begun, the children were simply, tragically forgotten, and they had no idea of the sudden evacuation the previous evening until it was too late. It was also a fact known to the journalist Scarlet and J the video store clerk, that the missouri senator and previous mayor of kansas city, Emmanuel Cleaver, was holding a birthday for his grandchild here the same night. Many of the zombies looked too well dressed to be parents of a church youth group.

The plan was to turn off electricity to all but the ferris wheel, and then to find a way to get the children out and safe. To turn off the power, thy needed to go to the electric room, which, thanks to Jeffrey, zara knew to be in the back of the house of mirrors. This was the old ‘festhaus’ building on the map, which was close.

Aside – here a small argument broke out as a number of players mentioned that 1, there was no house of mirrors at worlds of fun, and that there was little chance the main power supply room is in either the actual festhaus or the so-called house of mirrors, and that nonetheless there would be a back door. I responded calmly that yes there was a house of mirrors and that yes in fact they were going into it. I added that it was directly across the street from the clown tent. clown tent? clown tent.

They pulled up in front of the house of mirrors. The eight of them emptied out of their vehicle in front of the clown tent, no sign of clowns, that was good. Zara was in the lead as they entered the house of mirrors.. (aside – she was the winner of the valentine’s day easter egg) As she wound her way through the mirrors, her head appearing large, then tiny, then suddenly she had huge feet a tiny waist and incredibly long ears, then there were ten of her, then she heard a groaning sound a a mirror near her wobbled and fell, she saw a dark form lurch behind it. she pulled out her bowie knife, from the hardware store, you know how they always have those knife displays, and she stabbed. she wasn’t very strong, or very good with a knife, and her wrist was grabbed in a big hot grip. she heard and felt heavy breathing on the side of her neck as a dark figure leaned in toward her.

‘Hey hey hey, you dont wanna go stabbin’ Jeffrey now do ya?’ he said before their eyes met and electricity flowed between them. zara remembered a time years back when she was a sophomore in college and finally went to a frat party which she always hated. this time was different and she met this handsome, charismatic, though rotund young black man named Jeffrey. They shared a bottle of wine and a night together, and she spent the next year at college trying to track Jeffrey down but never saw him again. until now. She saw the same memories flash through Jeffrey’s eyes. He lets go of her hand (do you continue to plunge the knife? um, no) and took her in his arms in a big bear hug. Zara! Jeffrey! Will you help us? Sure, can i come with you? sure!

inspired by zombieland

He mentions a second group of kids on the wooden roller coaster, the Timber Wolf, and he tells them how after midnight the military rounded up the people, put the kids on the roller coaster and the ferris wheel, as distractions, and left the parents to their fate as they cordoned off the area. They turn off power to tho park, and they leave power on to the rides with kids on them.

when the power is off, the speed off to the ferris wheel, crash through the low fence and Zooey starts running down zombies, and smashing them into the platform, then backing up and running down more, while the windows roll down and each of the survivors tries to take down as many zombies as they can. the scarlet harlot uses a nail gun, the video store clerk, low on ammo, uses hairspray and a lighter, and ends up fighting a flaming haired clown from out the back window.

guns fire, wheels squeal, zombies lurch, and Zara and Jeffrey leap out onto the platform. zara uses her kung fu skills to knock zombies off the platform while Jeffrey works the gears, first turning off the incessant music, then the lights, then finally slowing it so they can remove the kids and toss them through the open window of the escalade, until all eight kids are rescued.

Zombies have come up to the open windows of the escalade and grab for those succulent living within, but the survivors manage to fend off their attacks, taking out over a dozen of them before speeding off towards the timber wolf. in the sudden silence, they can hear the sound of treads tearing up the sidewalks of the amusement park. they catch sight of a rumbling tank as they zoom through a cross-path and narrowly avoid getting blasted to the moon. we wrap it up with them getting the kids off the timberwolf (hand waved, it was getting late) and rescued another four kids. There are now 12 kids between 8-11 in the vehicle, plus the 8 adults, that is a car full of twenty living bodies. Everyone has a kid on their lap, and kids are stuffed into every nook and cranny as they speed out of the park and into the parking lots surrounding the main entrance.

As they drive off, victorious, they catch sight of the semi trucks and realize that under each tarp is a massive nuclear warhead. there are hundreds of them. they must be the warheads from the nuclear missile silos dotting the mid-west, but what are they doing, loading them onto stealth bombers, and why now?

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